What the hell is that, toxic mold?

All of us like to keep certain things in our office to remind us of home, to motivate us, to drive us.


Pictures of the kids...
Mementos from the awesome trip from the past summer....
Awards and achievements...
Office plants...


And then theres the stuff that bring up questions...


Vial Tom Cruise blood in the mini fridge

Pet flying monkeys

Three year old twinkie (hey, I was told they last forever and I am here to proof it)

And then there's..........

growing your own toxic mold.......

complete with a petri dish...

Calling in on days off to say hi to the toxic mold...

Assigning caretakers for the toxic mold...

Made sure Moldie (the toxic mold has a pet name) is getting enough food, water, and rest...

Taking Moldie out on a picnic lunch...

Keeping Moldie warm in its own special box...

Daddy, why is the wicked witch of the west trying to take me away.......

nooo.......... it's just daddy's overly excited super tom cruise worshipping co-worker and she just wants to hold the baby

I took my new baby girl into work a couple of months ago, to mostly show off the baby. (Hey, first baby girl, dont judge me)

One of my co-workers at the office flew over to hold the baby, my little girl........ took a look, and started the crying face....... hence, the wtich...

There are other evidences for this conclusion, lets look at these.....

Exhibit A.   Yes, her face, not green.  BUT, I think she uses the blue eye shadow that reaches down to her cheeks to hide the green under layer.

Exhibit B  No flying monkeys anywhere to be seen,  though she does talk about her daughter getting marry constantly, and I am pretty sure, maybe like 60% sure she does look like a flying monkey. 

Exhibit C  I have never seen her drink water.  Whenever there is an opportunity to share food, she smells it, never eats anything.  NEVER GOES NEAR WATER AND DOESN'T NEED FOOD...............

Exhibit D The last clue, and the most convincing.  The LAUGH, no human laughs like that. 

Can I throw away these hand written phone messages?

A person came by my desk yesterday and showed my a stack of hand written phone messages she had taken down, FOR HERSELF over the last four months and asked if she can throw them away.  The stack was about half a inch thick and written all over.

My answer: blink...., blink......, blink.......  What?

Her: Should I throw these away, I have no need for them?

Me:  blink...... HUH?

She goes on to show me the color code of the system she has........

Me: Why aren't you using the magic box in front of you all the time.  You yell at it and it does what you want.

Her: I am just going to throw them away....... ( walks off)

DEATH STARE (people who used the “STARE” to get things done at work)

Life questions we will never have an answer for people who uses the death stare.

ARE THEY…………?

Looking into your soul til you help me or just really REALLY annoying

Like a bad motorcycle accident, you just can’t look away

A learned skill or is someone just born with it.

HAVE …………………?

Their spouses or family member already blinded themselves

A brain the size of a walnut or are they super genius in disguise of someone with the a brain the size of a walnut

CAN ………………?

They do the death stare indefinitely

They also shoot lasers out of the death stare eyes.

Ponder well friends, ponder well…………..

Please stop the pain, please STOP THE PAIN

Ever have a co-worker who has no clue what-so-ever. 

Like sending out an email so customers can call you instead of them.  This may sound like a whining blog, BUT NO...... This is a solutions blog.

1.  Start calling them different names.  Example: Nancy sure looks like a Jerry, so I will start calling him Jerry from now on..

2.  Headphones: 24/7/365

3.  Have an automatic reply to their automatic reply.  Example:  Nancy is lying, please contact her at her cell or home phone at (XXX) 555-1212